omg i love these so much
A muggleborn and pureblood couple having their first child and the pureblood not knowing about ultrasounds so they don’t understand why their partner is dragging them to a muggle doctor until they get there and suddenly they see a physical picture of their newborn child and hear it’s little heartbeat and it’s better than any magic they’ve ever seen.
this is the best thing since sliced bread I’m not kidding
Heh, I play the cello, I’ll bet this is an interesting article.
Jesus fucking christ dont get me started on moving the damn thing
They cause die
Me. Thats me.
Motherfucker you wanna play
IT GOT BETTER
oMFG I just came downstairs and I found my sister with a lighter and I told her she can’t use fire and that it could catch the house on fire. She said that she was doing something important so I asked “what the hell is so important that you need fire for!?” and she told me with serious face ” I am using black magic to summon demons to get the mean girls at my school.” i can’t fucking breathe. I sat and watched her ritual hahahahaha shes fucking 10 years old
This should be a wake-up call to her parents.
She obviously needs help.
Her parents should to talk to her about those mean girls,
and teach her that she can’t summon demons with just candles.
You need at least a pentagram drawn in a perfect circle
with goat or lamb blood,
and a proper incantation from a book of dark magick.
This is great way to to teach your child early on
about geometry and foreign languages.
Good art lesson too. Drawing perfect circles is hard
dOES NO ONE ELSE FIND THIS EXTREMELY DISTURBING
Actually I find this girl fantastic. Ending bullying one curse at a time.
She might want to hold off on summoning demons until she’s a bit more mature but yes curse those fuckers you go, girl
Now hang on, just hang on a moment there. Let’s make one thing clear right now:
There is not a goddamned thing wrong with calling on someone bigger and stronger then you for help if need be.
If that stronger someone just happens to have tentacles and two-foot-long fangs, well, that’s more the problem of certain mean girls, I’d say.
Here kid, i drew you a new pal. You summoned a demon, you got one. Sorry i couldn’t put more time into this sketch but his name is Bill.
I love everything about this post
only on tumblr
I will always reblog this.
when they say youre too old for disney
The hop, I can’t. I cackled.
BUT DID YOU NOTICE AURORA
"Too many books?" I believe the phrase you’re looking for is "not enough bookshelves".
Or, y’know, that thing called “Passover.”
Or the whole thing with Noah’s Ark where he killed off everything in the world except Noah and his family, and two of every animal. Y’know, no big deal. Just millions of people.
90% of the Old Testament is about God killing people in temper tantrums
Are we not going to mention Jesus?
Oh my god.
found this gem in the 1996 Cornell Women’s Handbook. it’s what to say when a guy tries to get out of using a condom
hermione granger as the doctor’s companion
come with me.
together they could rule the universe.
“I had to use a Time Turner to get to fit all my classes in”
“Oh you BRILLIANT girl! It’s always the smart ones that are the most dangerous. Books are the best weapons in the world, after all”
“Could you take me to a library?”
“I could take you to a planet where the entire WORLD is a library”
“You and I are going to have a lot of fun Doctor, aren’t we?”
I mean he’s a fan of HP
Completely plausible AU + Hermione Granger = YESYESYES YES YES
SOMEONE FUCKING WRITE THIS
I NEED THIS LIKE I NEED AIR
McGonagall holding a Sorting Hat that has been duct-taped across the mouth and doing her own impression of the hat’s voice from behind her hand in the Great Hall.
James Potter HUFFLEPUFF
Remus Potter RAVENCLAW
Sirius Potter NOW THE GROUNDSKEEPER
No classes together ever goodbye
We went to this burger place for lunch (turned out to be a drag bar which was shitty in other ways) but the walls were papered with rolling stones covers and it just really becomes obvious when you see lots of magazine covers next to each other that men are treated as people and women are treated as objects.
THIS PROVES MY POINT SO HARD IT SMASHES YOU IN THE TEETH
GOSH DARN IT I HOPE YOU FEEL THE SLAP IN YOUR FACE
some muggleborn like “i want to be an astronaut when i grow up!”
wizard kids like “wtf is an astronaut”
"oh you know…the people who go to the moon"
as much as we all including (especially) me love “wild child teddy lupin” we have to realize that this is rita skeeter and although it is very likely that teddy is a wild child it’s just as likely that he’s a little remus lupin the second who victoire walks all over and who hasnt stopped blushing since that bloody article came out